Anthropomorphism and it's impact on our dogs

Anthropomorphism - an·thro·po·mor·phism (noun) the attribution of human characteristics or behavior to a god, animal, or object.

Quite the mouth full of a word there isn’t it? Our entire lives we’ve been steadily fed this idea that animals emotionally feel, think, and communicate in the same way we do. We have been fed anthropomorphism in the form of cartoons like Mickey Mouse, ThunderCats, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to all the blockbuster movies starring dogs. I personally grew up on Turner and Hooch, Benji, White Fang, Beethoven, Iron Will, Homeward Bound, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, and one of my all-time favorite 80’s films K-9 starring Jim Belushi. Ok, I’m showing my age here…

Did you know there have been retail studies that suggest dog toys should have faces on them? Not for the dogs, they could care less, it’s so us humans will buy the damn thing. Who wants to spend money on some round inanimate object to toss around, but stick a smiley face on there with some kitty cat whiskers and it’s sold at top dollar! Anthropomorphizing dog toys generates higher sales.

Benito (Goldendoodle)

If you’ve never read the book White Fang, I highly recommend it. The movie is much different than the book. In the movie the view point of the story is based on Jack’s perception of events, his rescuing of the dog, and his emotional attachment to the dog. However, the book is based on White Fang’s perception of events, and his view of these good and evil “gods” that are man.

The movie touches on this in one scene. Jack, a young boy that just arrived in Alaska and later saves White Fang becoming his owner, meets Grey Beaver, the Chief of his tribe and first owner of White Fang who he captured as a pup in the wild. Grey Beaver named the pup Mita which translates into White Fang. In the movie Jack meets Grey Beaver and Mita for the very first time and the scene plays out like this:

Jack: “Hey Mita, can I pet you” (Jack reaches out his hand to pet Mita)

Mita: “Barks at Jack” (Grey Beaver jumps forward pulling Jack’s hand Back)

Grey Beaver: ”NO!”

Jack: “I just wanted to pet him”

Grey Beaver: “Dogs are for work”

Jack: “Maybe they’d work a little harder if you were a little more friendly”

Grey Beaver: (pauses to think)“We make fire… Kill with sticks… (Grey Beaver tosses a rock in the river) Cause stone to fly. We are their god. That is why they obey. Not because we are friends.”

This is a profound statement if you really think about it. I believe both sides have valid points here. I personally believe the middle ground is the sweet spot. A balance if you will, between the “god/subject” or “owner/dog” relationship.

I just finished a book called Stumbling on Happiness. No, it’s not a self-help book. Although, it is a great psychological plunge into the human psyche that I highly recommend. In the book, Dr. Daniel Gilbert, the author and American Social Psychologist, talks about how scientists have been studying “rats running mazes and pigeons pecking keys” for the last 30 years. They did this in order to better understand behaviors as they are applied to humans. Dr. Gilbert comments in his book how it’s all been a giant waste of time. I disagree with Dr. Gilbert. These studies have immensely helped trainers such as myself understand how animals think and behave. Dr. Gilbert explains that, “while rats and pigeons may respond to stimuli as they are presented in the world, people respond to stimuli as they are represented in the mind.” The reason Dr. Gilbert calls it a waste of time is because the animal studies give no insight into human behavior. We’re complicated, and animals are not.

For example, a dog may think, “If I bark at this tree a squirrel might appear, and that feels good.” The dog does this because at some point in the past, barking at the tree paid off. At some point there was a squirrel in that tree, and it activated the dogs prey drive. This created a feeling of excitement in the dog that it would like to repeat. Humans on the other hand, look for squirrels in the tree because they have an emotional connection to how cute they are, or how disgusting and rat-like they are. Depending on your life experiences.

Dr. Gilbert explains that, “objective stimuli in the world creates subjective stimuli in the mind, and it’s these subjective stimuli to which people react.”  I know, I know, bear with me here. Objective means a judgment not influenced by personal feelings or opinions and representing facts (how dogs react), and Subjective is a judgement based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions (how humans react).

You see, one of the things that sets us apart from all other living creatures on earth, is as humans we have individual subjective responses to stimuli. If I were to say, “I’m going to go break my dog.” What is the first thing you think of?

Well, if you’re not in the dog world, I’m guessing you might think the meaning is that I’m about to go damage my dog in some way. If you are in the dog world, you know that I mean I’m going to go let my dog use the restroom (to go on a bathroom break). Your response to the word break (i.e. stimuli) is all dependent on your influences in life. It’s both the amount of time we spend with a stimulus, and the emotion we feel towards the stimulus that determine how we as humans responses to it. Let me explain further.

If you’re in a work position where you frequently go break, or go on break, or something of this nature, then you may have Subjectively associated the phrase “I’m going to break my dog” in a positive way. However, if your frequency and emotional meaning to the word “break” has recently been associated with a relationship break, a mechanical device you own breaking down, or the fact that you had some physical break in your body such as a bone. Then you may have Subjectively associated the meaning more negatively.

As humans that make subjective judgements, we unfairly take the very thing, objectivity, that makes a dog so special and strip it from them. This is one of the reasons I love dogs so much. Dogs can’t lie, they don’t judge us, they don’t care about our pasts, or mistakes in life that we as humans dwell upon. They don’t care about the emotional Subjective of the stimuli. Dogs live completely and utterly in the moment. Minute by minute, second by second. Any decisions that dogs make in life come from objective (not influenced by personal feelings) stimuli as it is received; live streamed.

If a dog is joyful about a stimulus, it’s because the stimulus has proven to be joyful and continues to be joyful, at least more often than it is not. If a dog is fearful or anxious about a stimulus, it’s because there has been reason for the dog to be fearful or anxious of that stimuli more often than not. If something’s happened at least once in a dog’s life, then the dog has “hope” (whether good or bad) that it will/can happen again. If it’s never happened or never been experienced, then the dog has no concept of it as an option.

So, here’s the cool thing about dogs objectivity; If a stimulus has in the past been associated as a thing to be fearful of, anxious about, or aggressive towards, this can be changed. Whereas subjective humans have very personal opinions, tastes, and feelings towards stimuli. It is much harder for us to make those changes.

If you have a subjective fear of spiders for instance. It would be difficult to bring you to the point of allowing a spider to crawl on you. While we could get you to this point, through tons of counter conditioning, you most likely will never be completely cured of your fear based on past traumatic emotion. If a dog has an Objective fear of something, let’s use fans for instance. We can counter condition this fear a lot faster as it’s based in fact, not feeling. The fan blew air on the dog and made a weird sound, nothing good came from it, so factually (objectively) the dog is scared of the fan.

Quick Side Note: For dog trainers out there reading this, just know that I’m going to be using the words “good” and “bad” for the sake of the regular dog owners. You can substitute in Negative and Positive Reinforcement and Punishment here for Operant Conditioning as we continue.

It’s basically a breakdown like this. If the dog has a “bad” association to the stimuli, then all you have to do is create a “good” association to the stimuli. Because the dog is objective, it’s all just a matter of duration at this point. So, if a stimuli has had a “bad” association once, you may be able to create the “good” association in a couple of sessions. If the stimuli has had a “bad” association for a few years, this process could take much longer, but not always.

We’ll use the fan again as an example, and I use this example due to experiences I’ve found that fans can be scary. Let’s say you walk your pup past a fan and the dog has a ‘fear’ reaction. You can stop right there and start feeding the pup several feet away from the fan. Slowly move the pup closer and closer to the fan and, depending on the dog, you may be able to get the puppy eating kibble, off the floor, right next to the noisy fan, with air being blown right in its face. Some puppies may have to come back for several visits to the fan to achieve a “good” association.

The dog objectively had a “bad” experience at first with the fan. Noise + Fast Air Flow + No Reward = Bad. Simple math! We then change the scenario for the dog to be Noise + Fast Air Flow + High Value Food Reward = Good. It’s a matter of Greater Than or Less Than to a dog.

Bad > Good = Bad & Bad < Good = Good

If the dog has far more “good” experiences with the stimuli, then it’s “good.” For example, let’s say if the dogs had 30 “bad” experiences to the stimuli and 40 “good” experiences to the stimuli, then it’s still associated as “good”.

Of course, this is all also relative to the value of the experiences had. For example, you can feed your dog regular kibble around the fan 15 times and associate the fan stimuli with “good” things fairly easily. However, if the fan has a faulty wire and electrocutes the dog with 120 volts once, well… that’s pretty “bad.” So, the experience value of the “bad” just surpassed the 15 kibble feedings of the “good” experience value. Now you can fix the faulty and wire so that the puppy never gets electrocuted again, and then start building back the “good” association to the fan. It will take some time and work, but it can be done.

On the flip side, your fan could have had a faulty wire and electrocute your dog at 10 volts, but you fed high value food reward treats next to the fan multiple times prior. In this case the pup is most likely going to not care about the faulty wire even if it’s electrocuted every time it accesses its reward. The value of the “bad” is not greater than the value of the “good.”

As humans we tend to strip this simple factual matter away from the dog and place our subjective reaction to the stimuli on them. A typical human reaction when the puppy passes the fan for the first time and has a fear reaction is as follows: The human picks up and coddles the puppy. They attempt to make it feel more safe and secure from the big scary monster that the human is imaging and projecting through the puppy’s eyes. In reality, what the human is doing here is justifying the dog’s feelings of fear to the dog. They are communicating clearly and precisely to the dog that it is completely justified in its fear state, and in fact, should be afraid of the fan. This is all completely counterproductive to the dog.

If you’re still with me, congrats for not falling asleep! As humans we put unrealistic expectations on dogs. We expect dogs to understand on a human level, understand how to live in our homes properly, understand good from bad behavior, and right from wrong without guidance. Above all we try and place our subjective stimuli reactions on them. Flat out, this is an impossibility for our dogs. We are setting our dogs up for failure, constantly!

I’m not saying you should never dress your dog up in cute clothes or costumes, talk to them, spoil them a little bit, call them your kids or babies, or any of these anthropomorphic behaviors. I only want you to realize that it is completely one sided in emotional fulfillment, and means absolutely nothing to your dog. However, keep in mind that some of this behavior, depending on the circumstances, can even be destructive to your dog behaviorally, and/or destructive to your relationship with your dog.

Sure, dogs are sentient beings. They have biological needs and desires, but they are animals. Most of those desires, at the very least, manifest into behaviors we don’t care for if not redirected into something more of our liking. Especially in our homes, and in the worse case, it’s destructive. Yes, I said it. Animals are destructive. Dogs need control, boundaries, and leadership to thrive in our human world, and more specifically in our homes.

So be a leader, set those boundaries, and consider that your dog does not understand things in the same way you do. Remember that it is impossible for your dog to think or communicate like you think and communicate. Therefore, it is your responsibility to train yourself to think and communicate on your dog’s level, and not the other way around.

Get Those Puppies Out There

Puppies!!!! Oh the cuteness overload, the puppy breath, the snuggles, and the desire to just protect that little ball of cute fuzziness with everything in your soul!!! Am I right? Of course I’m right! Unless your a heartless asshole and then this post isn’t for you.

We all love our puppies and want to protect them. We want to keep them away from parvo, stray dogs, scary people, and spooky things in the environment, and I’m here to tell you to stop. I know, but hear me out! I love clients that want nothing more than to protect and have the very best for their dogs because I only accept the most dedicated dog owners as my clients in the first place. However, I’m telling you that you’re probably being over protective. One of the worst things we can possibly do is bring a dog into our home and never properly socialize it. Another major mistake is to take it out to places and when it does experience something scary justify that fear by emotionally reacting with your pup. I mean feeling sorry for it, showing concern over it’s state of mind, empathy, picking it up, cuddling or coddling it in those times… STOP IT!! You’re the leader and dogs don’t communicate like we do. If your puppy is scared and looks at you as the leader and you’re also having an emotional reaction the pup thinks, “OH MY GOD, this is bad!”. When you just ignore it and keep moving you are signaling to the pup that it is incorrect in having those feelings.

Allowing puppies to explore

The world is a dangerous place. We can die driving to work, be severely maimed while out on that morning run, or shot by a lunatic while grabbing that morning donut. I know more about this than most. See, I was severely burned as an 8-year-old child. As a 40-year-old man today my body is still covered in scares. Both my legs from the tops of where my shoes were all the way up to the tops of my thighs where the fire burned under my shorts to the line of my underwear (tighty whities back then if you’re curious lol) are still scarred today. Not to mention the sides of my hips and my whole back where donor skin was taken for skin grafts. Yes it was excruciating, I had to learn to walk all over again at 8-years-old, tons of physical therapy, not to mention the emotional and psychological damage it did for years, but guess what … I’m Okay!

Seriously, I’m good. Recovered, survivor, and I love nothing more than to pull from that experience during hardships in my current life. When things get tough I can always look back and think, “hell I’ve been through that, so this isn’t shit!”. We need adversity in life, we need struggle and hard times. It’s what makes life worth living. Yeah, okay Chase we got it, but how does this apply to my cute little puppy?

I’m glad you asked! DO NOT light your puppy on fire! LOL Seriously, I felt I should throw that in there as a disclaimer. DO allow your puppy to struggle a bit through some challenges and DO challenge your puppy. Behavioral science tells us that it’s completely natural to avoid stressful situations and to seek out the more comfortable routes in life. It’s survival instinct, escape and avoidance at it’s finest. There is a mechanism in your brain that says, “This is hard, let’s avoid it completely and find a simpler, less aversive, way to go about it.” But, overcoming challenges and obstacles in our lives is how we gain our self confidence. If everything is always hand delivered and as comfortable as possible, then how would you react the first time something is a tiniest bit difficult?

Playing with the puppy in the park Lubbock Tx while major distractions are all around.

Allow your puppies to gain self-confidence by overcoming tough situations. Start with simple things like climbing steps or loading into the car. People are too quick to say, “My puppy can’t do it themselves so I have to pick them up.” Okay, maybe they are small, but they’re not always going to be. Do you want the 25lbs to 80lbs dog waiting for you to pick them up and put them into your Toyota Corolla? Because in the dogs mind they simply cannot get in that car and the only proper way to get in is to be lifted in… Trust me, this happens! It’s a behavior that’s been reinforced continuously throughout the dogs most critical learning period, and the dog now accepts this completely and fully. Yet we blame the dog for being lazy or just a “bad dog” when we, the dog-owners, conditioned the behavior into them. Lift the puppy, but not all he way up. Let the puppy jump a bit and then help boost it a bit to get in. Let the puppy only make the top of the step or door frame and hang there a bit by it’s front paws giving it just enough pressure and support from you to struggle, but win! Then the puppy is in the car or at the top of the steps and feels like, “MAN, that was tough, but I did it. I’m a beast!!”

Puppy jumping into kiddie pool filled with empty water bottles

Now, I’m not saying you should make every single day a test of complete domination “American-Ninja-Warrior” style for your puppy. There are very simple things you can do to help your puppy deal with the big scary world around them, and you can actually set your puppy up for success right out of the box. Setting your puppy up for success is the key for their mental and emotional growth in first place. Creating engagement in your dog at home through training, then slowly moving that into the world, desensitizing your pup to distractions or scary environments is vital. Proper socialization of your dog looks like this, there are other strange dogs/people/noises/distractions/competing motivators around, but your dog doesn’t care or concern themselves with those things. Those things mean nothing to your dog and they only stay focused on you, the leader, and the task at hand whatever that may be.

Here’s where the Veterinarians, Vet Techs, etc. will want to kill me. Ready… I don’t care that your puppy doesn’t have all of it’s shots, GET IT OUT THERE! I don’t blame Vet’s for telling you to keep your dog home until all shots are complete. All they deal with on a daily basis is treating dogs that have contracted diseases. What they don’t see are the effects of the behavioral issues I deal with due to lack of exposure. Now, you can be smart and strategic about this. Don’t take your pup to parks, especially dog parks! Don’t take your pup to places where stray dogs can roam. I don’t even take my pups to PetSmart… At least not right away. There’s to many dogs, and most have behavioral issues! Go to garden centers, home improvement stores, any place like that where they are dog friendly. Hey ladies, did you know that Hobby Lobby is pet friendly? You’re welcome! LOL These places mop there floors constantly, especially in a COVID-19 world. Allow your pup to experience these places and build a since of being emotionally and psychologically stable in new environments.

Most of the behavioral issues I see, especially in dogs over 6 months, is related to just lack of poor and/or improper socialization. You have from 8-weeks to 16-weeks-old to properly socialize your dog, FOR LIFE. There are techniques that can be used to help dogs overcome some issues, and good training can take a dog a long way that wasn’t properly socialized as a puppy, but that dog will never reach the full potential of what it could have been if proper socialization was done during that crucial time frame.

Puppy building confidence running through a tunnel.

So, find yourself a good dog trainer that understands proper socialization and has the skills to do it properly. In my board and train programs with puppies the majority of my time and techniques are focused on challenging the pup and developing good strong dogs that are socially and environmentally sound. A confident, socialized, emotionally and environmentally stable dog is a good dog. They aren’t worried about anything, reacting to everything, or going crazy for no reason.

It's Just a Dog

I’ve been sitting on this article for a while now, but I’ve known for some time that I’d write it and put it out there. The sharing of raw personal emotion to the world is most definitely not my thing, and no one likes to admit their faults and mistakes in life. I’ve really debated on what to put in and what to leave out. However, I have come to the conclusion that if I’m going to do this thing, I need to just lay it all out. So with that being said, I have decided not to hold back in the slightest.

I got our Golden Retriever Abbey from a friend of mine back in 2008 when I was in my late 20’s and my daughter was around 5 years old. They had bred their female Golden Retriever to a hunting line Golden Retriever and the owners of the stud were looking for a new pup to train up for hunting. I had already been considering getting one of the pups and I already had my eye on Abbey, but we had to wait for the owner of the stud dog since they had first pick. They showed up with some feathers tied to a string, agitated the pups with the feathers while the pups were in a kennel, and then drug the feathers out of site, hung them up out of reach, and released the puppies. Abbey trailed and hit on the feathers 3 times straight out. I just knew at that point I had lost the dog I wanted. Low and behold they didn’t want a female, so we took all the female pups out and they took the male they wanted. They talked Abbey up the whole time though. They went on about how good she looked and how smart she was. There was still one other dog in the litter that I had my eye on though, so I hadn’t quite decided which one I would end up taking. A few days later all the kids were out back in the pool, a 3 foot above ground pool, and all the puppies where loose in the back yard. Most where under the steps of the pool crying, wanting in, and a few where exploring the yard. Not Abbey though, she was continuously climbing the latter and jumping in to be with the kids. That sold me, I had to have that dog, and oh boy did we get “THAT DOG”.

Abbey around 1 1/2 years old 2009

I should say, I’ve always had a thing for more high drive, pushy, or hyper dogs. I don’t know why, but I have just never been interested in a dog that acts like a carpet in the living room. That’s just my personal preference, and I got every bit of that with Abbey. At that point, she was by far the highest drive, smartest dog I had ever owned. As a puppy she destroyed everything. She ate a TV remote, carpet in the bedroom, furniture, and even a cell phone. She was also my little Houdini. There was not a gate she couldn’t figure out how to open. If you put a pad lock on it and didn’t lock it, she’d take that off too. If the gate was locked, she’d go after the fence. She has gone through a fence, over a fence, and under a fence. She has escaped, one way or another, fences of every shape, make, and height. She was just one of those dogs that if left alone would determine it was time to start solving the puzzle of how to escape, and she was great at puzzles. She was all drive. She would drag me on the leash, never seemed to have an off switch, and would play ball for hours on end. I was at my wits end with her and didn’t know what to do. I was starting to wonder if I had made a mistake getting her in the first place. Then, a friend of mine sent his bird dog off to a trainer for $600 for 2 months (that seemed like a whole lot of money for dog training to me back then) and when it came back, it was a “hunting dog”. Now, you have to understand when this dog came back, in mine and my friend’s eyes, it was a brand-new dog. Full disclosure, knowing what I know now, that person most likely took this dog and just smashed it for a few months with an e-collar, probably starved it just a bit to bring up the prey drive, then made it bird crazy. This was not the picture of a happy dog, and I know that now. However, this had been a bouncing off the walls super hyper dog that was out of control and now seemed to have control, when really it was just living in fear of “walk-the-line or get smashed”.

Abbey and Taryn playing in the water at Caprock Canyon State Park 2012

So, I decided that if that “dog trainer” could do that with my friend’s dog in only two months, surely I could too! So, I jumped online and started pouring through every good’ol boy red neck hunting forum and dog training article I could find. I had a drive to learn everything I possibly could about hunting-dog training and obedience training. I found some stuff on e-collar use, and so I borrowed my buddies’ collar and remote and was off to the races. Little did I know, the race would be taking one of the most loving, loyal, and best dogs I’ve ever owned and completely traumatizing her. I did so bad by poor Abbey…I mean I utterly crushed her soul. I lit her up with the e-collar and applied tons of pressure without direction in either obedience or hunting. All the while I was really just leaning on her natural prey drive, and I completely broke that dog. This poor pup folded, and I mean folded hard. Not knowing what I was doing, I had actually trained my dog that the sound of a gun shot, or loud noises in general, (part of her “hunting training”) i.e. pressure of any kind, are only relieved by escape-and-avoidance. I instilled in her a fear of retribution that completely changed her demeanor. At the mere sight of a gun she’d crumble; so full of anxiety and fear she‘d simply fall apart. Shortly thereafter her anxiety attacks started manifesting during thunderstorms, fireworks, any loud noise such as dropping something heavy, and even when I simply raised my voice. I absolutely hated myself for what I had done and decided right then and there that my “dog training” days were over. Not only that, I loathed e-collars. I mean I was so against e-collars that I would have gladly signed a petition or voted on a law to completely outlaw and ban the devices in a heartbeat. (I’m happy to say I’ve had some real education since then and no longer feel that way).

Abbey and Taryn Hiking at Caprock Canyon State Park 2012

Abbey just became our house pet from that point on. Yes, she was also my hiking/running buddy, but around the house, she was a lot more my daughter’s dog. Abby definitely gravitated to my daughter Taryn, and even slept in her room. However, Taryn never really did anything with her except snuggle because she was a kid and Abby was a huge teddy bear. All the play, exercise, bathroom breaks, meals, baths, etc. that was all me. Except for the occasional thunderstorm or twice a year “firework-induced-anxiety-attacks” she became a pretty stable dog. For the most part, she lived a good comfortable life just hanging out around the house. Her anxiety around loud noises was so bad though that on two separate occasions (around the 4th of July) she disappeared. The first time I left her in the backyard and came home to find her gone, and it dawned on me that the kids in the neighborhood must have been popping fireworks. The local human society had picked her up hanging out at a local hotel. Abbey LOVED people and never knew a stranger. The second time she was gone for over a week, and I was about at the point of giving up when we found her 45 miles away in a different town. We have no idea how she got there, and she definitely had some miles on her pads. But, I believe someone picked her up, and she escaped from them. She was found by a local rescue wandering around downtown, and they found our lost-dog post on social media. The phone call was hilarious. “Hello sir, I think we have your dog”… 45 miles away… LOL. I was certain it was not her, but I gave them some marks to look for that were unique to her and low-and-behold it all matched.

Abbey on a road trip 2015

Abbey and I had a few adventures together on camping and hiking trips as well. Around 4 1/2 years ago, at the writing of this, we went on one such trip.  Abby was around 8 years old at the time, and we arrived at camp right as a thunderstorm passed through. So, we rode the storm out in the car, and afterwards we setup camp, relaxed for a while, and then decided we’d do a short hike before the sun went down. We ended up around 100 yards from the trail head when Abbey quit on me. I had never seen her act this way. She knew what we were doing, but you could see it written all over her. She was not going to be a part of this and was going back to camp. I thought perhaps it had something to do with the thunderstorms and her anxiety, so we just went back to camp. That night I heard a lady yelling for help and ended up being a part of a search-and-rescue party to bring her down off the mountain. Long story short, she was just an unprepared first-time hiker that took off up a trail not knowing where she was going. She got caught in the thunderstorm and then lost the trail after dark without a light of any kind. I tried to get Abbey to come with us on the rescue, but she wasn’t having it. So, I left her laying on her bed in camp, and I was a bit worried that when I got back, she’d be gone. Luckily that wasn’t the case. Poor pup was in so much pain from arthritis I didn’t know she had at the time that she hadn’t moved off that bed when I got back several hours later.

Abbey and I at our camp site in the Davis Mountains 2016

I tried taking her running with me a few times after that, and it was strange that sometimes she’d go and be just fine and other times she was not having it. My poor sweet girl was really trying for me, but her arthritis, and perhaps even cancer, was just too much for her to handle some days. It was at this point in my life I started to really get back in good physical health and was starting to do more outdoor activities again like backpacking and hiking. I had always had a dog with me on those trips and really wanted one again. So I decided to take my time and start looking for a new dog for me to do those things with. That would leave Abbey to relax around the house and enjoy the rest of her days getting cuddles from her favorite person, Taryn.

Abbey and Taryn 2016

I won’t go into the details of my next dog Sam and my deep dive into the dog training world that he led me down, but when I got Sam I knew I‘d better get serious about dog training or I’d be in real trouble. It was due to Abbey (and my faults with her) that led me to seek out the correct methods of dog training, and also quickly recognize some bad. This article is about Abbey though, so we’ll stay on point with her. See, she was my first dog to have from a pup until we had to let her go a couple of weeks ago, and that’s really the spirit of this article. I had never before had the experience of having a dog for the full spectrum of it’s life. However, I did know when I got her that it was what I wanted. For better or for worse, this was a life-long commitment. Not only for myself, but for Taryn as well. I didn’t want Taryn growing up the way I did, experiencing dogs in the way I had always experienced them: as some short-term visitor that can be replaced or re-homed for any reason at all. That’s not what dog ownership is about and I feel far too many people take advantage of that.

Abbey and Taryn cuddling, Sam causing trouble 2017

The last few years, and especially the last several months with Abbey was a whole new experience for me. Watching her health deteriorate, trying to decide if it’s time, and thinking maybe I’m rushing things was one of the hardest experiences in my life. I wanted to give her all the time she could possibly have on this earth, but I hated to see her suffer. It got the point that she didn’t want to go outside in the back yard due to the stairs being too steep. There was more than once I watched her back legs completely give out on her as she climbed the steps, and too often I was having to pick her up and carry her up and down the stairs. Those last few months with her made me really think hard about the life I had given her. I reflected on the good things I did, the fun times we had, and the damage I caused attempting to train her. It was within the last few years of her life that I learned to help her with her anxiety issues through proper training techniques, however because of her age and physical health, I decided that wasn’t the best course for her. I knew what to do, but it would mean placing her in uncomfortable environments for desensitization. At her age, I felt it was just best to make her as comfortable as possible at that point. The heartache I experienced knowing that it was too late for her is a burden I will always carry. In the end, my final gift to her was a promise. I promised that I’d do everything in my power to become the best trainer I possibly could be. I promised to help other dogs with issues, and to never do to another dog what I did to her. That’s a major part of the reason behind the name Arkhein K9, (meaning to rule) and my personal mission to always keep striving to be a better dog trainer; the best dog trainer I can possibly be.

I absolutely refuse to take a hyper dog and crush them. I will help them learn to cap drive, have manners, and be patient. I have turned clients away that have had hyper dogs and wanted me to “take that out of them”. Hyper dogs are hyper, it’s just who they are. They aren’t broken, and they aren’t wrong. They simply need an outlet. They can learn to cap drive and be a more well mannered pet through reinforced behaviors, but they still need that outlet. It’s not an easy thing to do properly, and it takes time and investment in your pet. But regardless of the burden, I mean to keep that promise to Abbey.

Abbey in her old age 2020

On July 2, 2020 we took Abbey to the Vet. She hadn’t been doing good for days. Not eating, and not moving well if at all. We were to the point I had to force her to go outside. I really expected the Vet to say something along the lines of, “It’s getting time, we need to start discussing options”. Instead the news we got was far worse than that. Her heart rate was irregular, some of her joints were so stiff they couldn’t bend any longer, I knew she had dropped some weight due to not eating but the Vet said she had gained weight. She told us Abbey had a bunch of masses growing in her abdominal area, and I started really beating myself up. I was so worried about not rushing things and just letting her be that perhaps I had let her suffer longer than I should have. This situation was horrible and there’s really no way around the damned-if-you-do damned-if-you-don’t aspect of considering another life, especially a life you have loved so dearly. We could have run a million tests, given her all kinds of drugs and medications, but in the end, it wouldn’t have made her more comfortable or any better. So, Taryn and I decided that it was time. There were thunderstorms rolling in at that very moment, and people were already starting to pop fireworks at night in the neighborhood. We decided that if we let her go now, we could spare her the agony of another restless anxiety ridden Fourth of July. So, we loaded Abbey back up in the car, took her for a burger and to say good bye to some people in town. She couldn’t even eat the burger. She’d grab it as if she was starving and wanted to swallow it whole, but then she’d just chew it up a bit and spit it back out.

Abbey and I 2019

Thank God when we returned to the Vet, they let both Taryn and I in with her. They weren’t allowing anyone in at the time due to COVID-19, but they made an exception for us. Once the Vet gave Abbey the sedative, I really thought that shot in itself might do her in. I’ve not seen her that still and relaxed in a long long time. I think with her heart issues she had been having trouble pumping blood to her lungs, so she panted a lot, even when laying still. Seeing her that relaxed was strangely comforting. She deserved that rest. Everything went smooth with the next shot and it didn’t take any time at all for Abbey to peacefully slip away in the arms of her favorite person, Taryn, getting the cuddles Abbey so loved as she passed to the next life. It was rough on Taryn; I know it was. I truly believe though that if Abbey could have picked a way to leave this world she wouldn’t have chosen any other way than right there in the comfort and contentment of Taryn’s arms.

Abbey at Halloween 2019

Now, I’m not one to cry, never have been, but I teared up twice that day. Once when we told the Vet of our decision and I watched Taryn break down, and again in that room watching one of the VERY best dogs in the world slip away in her little girls’ arms. Even just thinking about it now the emotions well up. We ended up taking Abbey’s body and burying her out in the country on a hillside under a mesquite tree. For West Texas, she’s got one heck of a view for her final resting place. We said our good bye’s and got a few more pets in before finally laying her at peace.

Abbey and Sam 2017

I’ve heard it all my life, “Dude, it’s just a dog.” We buy them, sell them, rescue them, rehome theme, love them as our own, and work diligently to try and find them the forever homes they deserve. They are dogs, and I do keep that in mind. Believe me, I’ve seen the effects of humanizing a dog too much and the behavioral issues that stem from that. We love them though and they love us. You see, they aren’t “just” dogs. They are dogs. Beautiful, wonderful, dogs. In my opinion, one of the best creatures to ever walk the face of the Earth. Far too often I believe that we don’t celebrate them enough for what they are. As humans it’s sometimes hard to walk that line, balancing the tight rope between loving them with all your heart while still trying not to make them into something they’re not. As a trainer I’ve seen both sides of the spectrum. I’ve encountered people who treat them inhumane, and I’m talking about all out abuse. Just people who don’t fully appreciate the emotional capacity that an animal like a dog has. On the flip side, I’ve helped people who unknowingly mistreat their dog by anthropomorphizing their pet to a state it simply can’t handle. See, I know for a fact that the way Abbey lived the majority of her life was not who she was. She was not an always low energy, anxiety filled, bag of nerves. I did that to her and I have to take full responsibility for that.

Abbey 2016

We should celebrate our dogs, love them, respect them for what they are, and above all mourn them when they pass. I don’t know why there is sometimes a stigma out there about mourning over losing a dog. You should never let anyone make you feel bad or guilty for mourning a pet. Mourning is a personal release and as such should happen on an individuals time line and in a manner they need in order to let go. Don’t judge someone or push someone to rush a mourning period because it’s “just a dog,” or any other pet for that matter. I believe the people that view a dog as “just a dog” have never taken the time to create that deep relationship - that true bond that can be had between man and dog, and I feel sorry for them.

Abbey 2009

I encourage everyone to learn how to properly communicate with your dog on the dog’s level. A dog can never rise to your level and understand you the way we understand one another. It’s up to you to learn how to be on the dog’s level of understanding. Do yourself a favor and find a good trainer that above all else teaches you how to understand your dog and communicate with your dog on their level. If you take the time to do that, I promise you that you will never make the mistakes I have, and your relationship with your dog will be like none you have ever had with any other dog.

If any of this story resonates, and you are considering professional help, I would love to talk with you about your personal goals for you and your dog. Regardless, I beg you, in the spirit of Abbey, to find yourself a good dog trainer.

Abbey and Taryn at the lake. Top is Taryn’s first camping trip in 2009. The bottom is a recreation of that picture we did in 2020 just a week before we had to let Abbey go.

Why Board and Train?

Why would I want to send my dog away to be trained by someone else? I can’t be without my dog! I would miss my dog to much! I just want to stop these “X number” of things my dog does. It costs to much!

Chacco Cane Corso

These are some of the common questions, concerns, and phrases I hear when it comes to board and training a dog. Larry Krohn said it best once when he said something to the effect of, sending a dog to board and train is like taking a heroin addict out of the toxic environment they’re already in so that they can get the help they need to get better. I agree with this statement 100%. I’ve always liked the military boot camp comparison myself. If you want to turn an average citizen into a soldier you have to pull them out of society, break down their behavioral routines, created new ones, and then slowly integrate them back into society. It’s the same with dogs, especially the older they get. Dogs have routines, behaviors that have been practiced, reinforced, and imbedded deep into their daily lives. Those are usually the behaviors that we as humans don’t like. When my clients try and tell me they just want their dog(s) to stop doing X. That’s when I have to explain that we need to dig further down into why they do what they do, how much it’s been reinforced over the years, and come up with plans to not only stop those behaviors, but create new behaviors we do want out of the dog.

Marely Yorkshire mix (fear and anxiety B&T)

This is one of the best reasons to send your dog to board and train. It’s structured, highly routine, and breaks down and removes all the dogs preexisting behavioral patterns. This greatly aids the dog in forming new behavioral patterns that can be easily carried back home once complete. This transition makes it so much easier on the dog rather than remaining in the same environment, withheld from all the highly rewarding behaviors it’s practiced it’s entire life, and then having an owner trying to teach new behaviors at the same time. When you take a dog into a brand new environment where it has no predeveloped reinforced behaviors, its much easier to just start teaching that dog from day one all the new behaviors we want from them and show them that they will be reinforced like never before. Once the dog goes back to the old environment it’s easier for the dog to handle and accept that they will not be allowed to practice the old behaviors any longer, but the new learned behaviors will still be practiced and heavily reinforced. The new behaviors have been solidified through detailed practice brought on by a professional trainer, and then simply carried on by an owner. The dog is more forgiving of the owners unpracticed mistakes in training this way too since it knows the routine by now.

Sam Belgian Malinois (My dog in the mountains off leash)

If you can’t stand being away from your dog for a few weeks, I would suggest that this may be part of the overall issue. I’m not saying you shouldn’t miss your dog. You should, and your dog should be happy to see you when you come for the owner instruction throughout the board and train. That’s all part of a healthy relationship. Your kids will grow and move out of the house. You’ll miss them, and you’ll be happy to see them when you come to visit. However, if you refuse to allow your child to grow and leave the nest then the relationship is unhealthy right? You wouldn’t refuse your child a chance at a multi week summer camp, especially if it’s going to be instructional and aid them in mental or physical growth in some fashion, just because you’ll miss them to much. Would you? It should be the same for your dog. Allow them to grow, experience, and become a better version of who they are from a professional. Just do your homework and make sure you are picking the right professional to send your dog to, not the cheapest!

Winston Cane Corso (Fear and anxiety board and train)

This brings us to cost. I’m not saying the most expensive trainer is the best trainer, and I’m not saying that the cheapest trainer is the worst trainer. On the contrary, there are some very great trainers out there doing wonderful work for minimal pay. Those are usually involved in the rescue world though and aren’t making their living and running their private business off the money they make training. If a person is truly a good trainer, running a legit business, covering overhead, paying employees properly, doing right by the dogs and clients, all while making a decent living for themselves then it’s not a cheap service. It just is what it is, things cost money. Some trainers charge less than others and some charge a lot more than others. Over the years this is sort of what I’ve come to find in cost of trainers, but there are always exception to the rule. I have usually found that lower costing trainers are basing their profit off of quantity of dogs. The more dogs they can run through their business the more profit they make. If you visit these trainers you may find that they have multiple employees on payroll handling the dogs, they’re board and train time frame is typically less time on average, and they most times have a lot of dogs on site. This can create the perception to the client that the person is really good and very sought after as a trainer. On the other hand you have trainers like me. I’m very personal to the dog and clients needs. I require more time with the dog to create the proper relationship with both dog and client. I charge more due to the fact that I have less dogs on site at any given time so my attention can be given to the dogs I have more readily. Being a home based business my clients dogs are in my home being treated as if they are one of my own dogs. I also have the great privilege of being able to pick my clients. See for trainers like me here at Arkhein K9, LLC, it’s not just about the money. Trainers like myself only take on clients that are committed to their dogs, because we understand that commitment is what it takes to actually train a dog. I will not waist my time and I will not waist a clients time and money if I feel they are not committed to their dog and the program.

Scout German Short Haired Pointer (obedience board and train)

To wrap up, I can and do have clients that I teach to train their own dogs themselves. They end up not paying as much money in the long run and I have some clients out there that have done some really amazing work with their dogs. However, those are the exception and most people don’t go as far with their dog, but as long as they and the dog are happy, I’m happy. I’ve had clients pay for at home owner training, then turn around and do board and train because they realized it’s better to have a professional do the initial work, or it was just to much for them. Either way is not right or wrong, it just is. Some people have gifts, understand different concepts better, and are more in tune with their dogs than others. With my experience, knowledge and education in the field, and dedication to my craft, there is no doubt that I can do more for a dog in a board and train than an average owner can do for their dog. You can do the remodel to your own home and it will look pretty good to the average person. A carpenter can walk in and see all the mistakes you made. Let a good carpenter remodel your home and everyone gets to marvel at how well it was done. Even other carpenters.

Walking in high cotton with Arkhein launch

As we launch our family owned business we’d like to thank all the clients, friends, and family that have supported us on our journey. This road has not been an easy one, with many ups and downs, but nothing worth building ever is. As we move along this path we are set on with great humility and appreciation, Arkhein will always remember that there are times of great harvest and great drought. It is our belief at Arkhein that the people you surround yourself with are what will determine your success in this life. Training throughout the years Arkhein understands it is only as great as the people that have supported it. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!

Get Out There!

There's no better way to learn than to get out and train your dog yourself.

Here are Arkhein we know that it can be scary to think about training your own dog. The what if’s of making life long mistakes in a dog. We are happy to announce that with our 5 week at home program you can have the confidence to train on your own. Our program is setup with a curriculum to follow including assigned homework. Once a week an in home trainer visits to assure you are on the correct path. With access to messaging our staff during the course in case you run into any road blocks along the way.

Arkhein is always here to support our dedicated clients. Now get out there and train!!